Men are a cause of violence
Men are survivors of violence
Men are a solution to violence
Violence is a men’s issue
Challenging Individual Behaviors:
- Encourage men who find ways to be non-violent, good fathers, friends, etc., to share their positive experiences with other men and women
- “Call out” disrespect and abuses of power, even if those abuses do not occur in a format with which you are familiar (i.e. a woman being abusive towards a man)
- Remember and remind others that most men want to do the right thing if given a chance: most men want to be good fathers, most men want to prevent traumatizing violence within their families
In our Families and Communities:
- Encourage broader definitions of “mother” or “father” with a focus on good parenting skills instead of gender-based roles
- Create or find programs (and/or community relationships) that encourage participation of fathers in their families, and generate different feelings about the roles that fathers play in their children’s & families lives
Changing Culture:
- Question and challenge conceptualizations of masculinity that encourage men to be violent, emotionally detached, and/or strong at all times
- Remind men and women that men CAN be hurt: physically, emotionally, and mentally (AND remind them that this it is okay for men to feel the associated pain/confusion when they are hurt)
- Encourage cultural models where men are viewed as partners in the parenting process, not just bystanders
As Service Providers:
- Ensure that both women AND men are receiving the respect, dignity, treatment and services needed to keep families together and healthy
- Do not assume that power is always exercised inside the structure of traditional gender roles (i.e. male toward female)
- Attempt to prevent personal beliefs about “the way” that violence occurs to place undue influence on you and your assessments of family violence
Influencing Policies & Legislation:
- Lobby for legislation that works to keep families together when possible, defies the “men as perpetrators, women as victims” paradigm, and provides funding that protects and provides services to men, as well as women
- Ensure that equal treatment under the law is exercised at all times, even when it contradicts socially pre-conceived notions of what family violence looks/appears like
