Working with Fathers: A Best Practices Checklist

1. Ensure staff awareness of cultural sensitivity and empathy for clients
• Helps provide in depth understanding and experiential knowledge of the implications of immigration, acculturation, parenting
• Some cultural patterns can hinder fathers’ progress in developing a more involved relationship with their children
2. Offer incentives for participation: gas cards, home safety kits, Wall-mart and Target gift cards
3. Offer opportunities for class/group discussion
• It supports young fathers to open up, share and feel supported by their peers
• It drops the affective filter as soon as possible to allow fathers to give each other input
• It brings forth cultural, historical and even geographical family of origin competencies
• It reminds us not just to give information, but to be facilitators of discussion too
• This encourages use of  guided discovery for the class/group objectives 
4. Have fathers hold each other accountable for attending classes
5. Challenge stereotypes about fatherhood and masculinity
• Being a father isn't just about providing food, clothes and shelter, it's about building a bond and attachment with their child through love, emotional support, etc.
6. Be flexible with clients--allow them to reschedule or make up class through a one-on-one session
7. Ask fathers to identify clear goals about what they want to provide for their children
• Configure a plan for attaining those goals for their children
• Start by clarifying what support the father needs to provide in order for his children to reach those goals 
8. Reach out to fathers through follow up phone calls -- this helps foster feelings of support
9. Build fathers’ confidence
• Let the fathers know they matter to their children more than they know  
• They will learn, share their challenges with, and support other fathers
10. Emphasize fathers’ strengths while supporting greater communication and interaction with their children
11. Adopt nationally recognized best practice curriculums 
• For example, 24/7 Dad or Parents As Teachers
• Strengths-based curriculums draw upon fathers’ own knowledge and experiences
12. Ensure your curriculum is specifically designed for the communities you serve
• For example, address how fathers in military families face unique challenges (i.e. deployment, isolation from natural supports, frequent moves/transitions, etc.)
13. Address fathers’ communication and anger management skills to help increase involvement

Engaging Men, Preventing Violence: A New Conversation

Men are a cause of violence

Men are survivors of violence

Men are a solution to violence

Violence is a men’s issue

Challenging Individual Behaviors:

• Encourage men who find ways to be non-violent, good fathers, friends, etc., to share their positive experiences with other men and women
• “Call out” disrespect and abuses of power, even if those abuses do not occur in a format with which you are familiar (i.e. a woman being abusive towards a man)
• Remember and remind others that most men want to do the right thing if given a chance: most men want to be good fathers, most men want to prevent traumatizing violence within their families

In our Families and Communities:

• Encourage broader definitions of “mother” or “father” with a focus on good parenting skills instead of gender-based roles
• Create or find programs (and/or community relationships) that encourage participation of fathers in their families, and generate different feelings about the roles that fathers play in their children’s & families lives

Changing Culture:

• Question and challenge conceptualizations of masculinity that encourage men to be violent, emotionally detached, and/or strong at all times
• Remind men and women that men CAN be hurt: physically, emotionally, and mentally (AND remind them that this it is okay for men to feel the associated pain/confusion when they are hurt)
• Encourage cultural models where men are viewed as partners in the parenting process, not just bystanders

As Service Providers:

• Ensure that both women AND men are receiving the respect, dignity, treatment and services needed to keep families together and healthy
• Do not assume that power is always exercised inside the structure of traditional gender roles (i.e. male toward female)
• Attempt to prevent personal beliefs about “the way” that violence occurs to place undue influence on you and your assessments of family violence

Influencing Policies & Legislation:

• Lobby for legislation that works to keep families together when possible, defies the “men as perpetrators, women as victims” paradigm, and provides funding that protects and provides services to men, as well as women
• Ensure that equal treatment under the law is exercised at all times, even when it contradicts socially pre-conceived notions of what family violence looks/appears like